1. |
Quakers
04:06
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i might talk to some Quakers
try to feed off their energy
and they might bring up Jesus
i'll tell them just how great the real world could be
i called off of work again
to get more work done
every sleepless night feels worth it
i've seen those mailboxes dancing
getting plenty of play on the internet
and the humans inside them
they know the war isn't over yet
it could be days or weeks or years
but they'll keep moving
til every single vote gets counted
so i show up at 9 to my plastic table
running on coffee and local beer
i've got a cartoon eagle on my forehead
'cause it means a lot to the folks round here
i can't feel my toes again
but i know it's working
every sleepless night feels worth it
i can't feel my toes again
that's how i know it's working
every sleepless night
every sleepless night
every sleepless night was worth it
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2. |
Muted Reds Over Van Nuys
04:18
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you spent most of the day
wishing clouds away
but here they are
making all your other dreams come true
precipitation in your eyes
a spectrum lines the skies
topped off with a tasteful calming blue
but the muted reds beneath it
say the cure is just as hard as the disease
but this little park bench outside of Van Nuys
could be all we really need
'cause you're here, i'm here
failure never shone so bright
you're here, oh i'm here
at least we got one thing right
feel free to disagree with this
i mean i don't want to sound disingenuous
but so far the evening
makes a pretty strong case for Hope
so when the timing's right
whatever that looks like
i'll remind you of this moment
like the punchline of our favorite old joke
but the muted reds across the skies
remind me that the best things in life are free
and the arms around our shoulders
could be all we really need
'cause you're here, i'm here
failure never shone so bright
you're here, oh i'm here
at least we got one thing right
never thought we'd get so lucky
to catch the Muted Reds hanging Over Van Nuys
cause you're here, i'm here
the sky keeps losing light
you're here, you're here, i'm here
at least we got one thing right
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3. |
Was
03:56
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it's hard to start a song without reminding you why i'm singing
but i'm sure you'll get the message if you try for once to listen
but let's be clear that this is no apology
i know you've seen the most unpleasant sides of me
and i don't think it's even worth remembering
just how insufferable i Was
my mind it feels the void of all the words i tried to cram into your letters
and i pray that they'll come back so i can string them all together
but nobody in Texas reads much anyway
and tomorrow just flows seamlessly from yesterday
but i really felt like i had something nice to say
just can't remember what it Was
i never got to say goodbye because goodbye was never appropriate,
you know, back when we still talked
and every time we talked i thought the worst was all behind us
maybe it's still not
yeah, maybe in a couple years we'll figure out
that we lost things with each other that cannot be found
but i talk about our friendship in the past tense now
how brief and beautiful
how brief and beautiful
how brief and beautiful it Was
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4. |
All Smiles
03:41
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sometimes fate skips a beat when you wish it was steady
and the world kind of follows along
like the beat of the rocks on your window
makes me forget the words to your song
but it's true, i wrote them for you
but tonight it's All Smiles and stars alone in your room
'cause i draw my life like a line where the other side is nothing but green
like i know that to own any beauty would destroy all the beauty i've seen
but when i set aside all that smug satisfaction, it's just the stars and you and me
All Smiles
and the future pans out like a painting already etched on a canvas with pen
you can change out the colors a little, but you'll never make it blank again
and hey that's me
in the space in between
and i know you'll fill it with florals and whites that no one can see
'cause i draw my life like a line where the other side is nothing but green
like i know that to own any beauty would destroy all the beauty i've seen
but when i set aside all that smug satisfaction, it's just the brush and the painter and me
All Smiles
and i know that the world's stacked against me in ways you just won't understand
but tonight i admit that's the only thing tying my hands
so i've laid to rest all my excuses and the rocks are piling up
so come to the window and brace yourself
for gibberish and love
maybe that will be enough
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5. |
Bright Eyes
04:08
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somewhere in the sound of the afternoon
the mufflers whistling out their tunes
in the causeway of our old familiar place
you broke ground into something new
the party gowns, the heart balloons
the invitation written on your face
it's been so long, i've been trapped beneath
these stagnant fears, these crippling doubts
you stripped away all the mystery
it's all become so clear to me now
i want to break apart the neon
casting its glowing shadow over this town
i want to put away the moonlight, only for a moment
we don't need it right now
just you and me tonight
we'll dance by the light of your Bright Eyes
there's no red flags, no butterflies
no carelessness to romanticize
just a happy coincidence or two
and no stars need to align
no heartbeats need to synchronize, no
none of that seems real enough for you
we don't need to work the crowd out on 7th street
to dredge up who we used to be, no
we can put out the fire they need to see
it's all become so clear to me now
that i want to break apart the neon
casting its glowing shadow over this town
i want to put away the moonlight, only for a moment
we don't need it right now
just you and me tonight
we'll dance by the light of your Bright Eyes
Bright Eyes, lightin' up my sky
oh you don't need no help
we ain't got nobody else
but it's all that much more magical
when you shine all by yourself
so why don't we break apart the neon
casting its glowing shadow over this town
why don't we put away the moonlight, only for a moment
we don't need it right now
just you and me tonight
we're dancing by the light
just you and me tonight
we're dancing by the light
just you and me tonight
it's all become so clear to me now
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6. |
Four Cylinders
04:45
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we parked along the beach
somewhere far away
from all the frankly foolish things we did
in San Clemente earlier that day
i found something pretty good to tell you
i don't quite remember what it was
but somehow it was plenty good enough
to remind you how it feels to be in love
we didn't have much room to move around
we couldn't even look up at the stars
i figured out the hard way what you really wanted when i saw
the beach tattooed in color on your arm
and there was nothing i could do to save you
nothing i could do would change your fate
the narrative arc of your future, it had already been written
the ink had already been set in place
and i admit it's beautiful
no sense in arguing with that
but you say i can't write a happy ending anymore
don't you know that not all of my songs are quite this sad
but we both know how this one's gonna end
i won't make it hard to say goodbye
but before you brave the wilderness of your favorite place on earth
i need you just to keep one thing in mind
that no matter what it is you really want
no matter who it is you really are
life will never be again as easy as it was
in the back of my old Four Cylinder car
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7. |
On My Way to Illinois
03:20
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cancel all my plans i am going to Chicago
maybe make a name for myself
i've got a real shot at Northwestern
or a full ride at DePaul
if i show 'em off my good side
hide everything else
oh but i, i need to slow down
it's all kicking around inside of my brain
and i've got 700 CCs of day-old drip coffee
displacing all the blood in my veins
all the blood in my veins
gassing up the car, i'm gonna be driving all day
breathe some life into these dead bones
i'd be lying if i said i had no one too impress
in the handful of towns that i've called my home
oh but this, this is not about them
this is not about anybody but me
i've already forgotten about Houston
and moving back to Waco
and living past 23
oh, past 23
Lalitree ran through a mind much more beautiful than mine
one i never would have known
if not for some dumb blonde who was never simultaneously
willing and able to answer the phone
oh but i, i just wanna talk
i just wanna hear another human voice
guess i'll settle for these letters
mail 'em out of Dallas
On My Way up to Illinois
up to Illinois
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8. |
Drowning Song
04:12
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i'm staring at the eyes of a painting on a wall
and i feel like they're looking back at me
and i doubt that anyone's in there
but you never know for sure
'cause it doesn't take eyes to see
that one in a million is better than nothing
and winning a little is better than running
i've seen with you skipping down the sidewalk
with feathers in your hair
in a trance too flexible to be broken
like you're trying to tell the universe that you never really cared
to let the doors to your sanity swing open
'cause if it's not the wind then it's probably nothing
and if it's not worth walking, it's not worth running
it doesn't make much sense for me to try and follow you
to those heights that i can't bear to reach
to climb the treacherous highways and ritzy avenues
and interrupt your affair with the beach
'cause if it's not love, it's probably nothing
and if it's not worth driving, it's not worth running
and if the ground keeps shaking you might have to leave LA
and come back to where somebody cares
and i can play you my new songs and you can show me your ballet
dance with a flower in your perfect hair
and our lives might intersect again before next summer
and the waves that wash over us will pull us under
'cause if it's not the waves, it's probably nothing
and if it's not worth walking,
if it's not worth driving,
if it's not worth Drowning,
then it's not worth running
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9. |
Winter Broke
04:02
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without so much as a word, you left town
and the cold descended on us
as soon as you were gone
fresh freezing raindrops coat the ground
black ice seems like it was tailor made
for me to trip up on
shiver with each footstep down the street
to buy a couple winter layers
i never thought i'd own
cling to my own meager body heat
wishing i was half as good as i once was
at spending time alone
oh, but i never felt so powerless
to change my mood
but the sun ain't coming out
til i leave Austin too
piles of old clothes saturate my room
i never wear them, but i can't bring myself
to give them all away
hopefully a couple years from now
i'll have that same sad dilemma
with the clothes i bought today
oh, but i never felt so powerless
to change my mood
but the sun ain't coming out
til i leave Austin too
oh, but i never felt so powerless
to change the way i feel about you
but the sun ain't coming out
my feet won't touch dry ground
i'll be surrounded by all these clouds
til i leave Austin too
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10. |
Less Love
04:21
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Gregor hated his life before it stripped of its form
back when he was still roughly anthropomorphic
he couldn't contain the family's deficit spending
and he came home empty-handed one time too many
guess what
there was Less Love
there was Less Love
there was Less Love
there was Less Love
each day
we used to walk side by side across the quad after classes
talk about our future like it was gonna happen
but we're older now, frankly less naive
smart enough not to believe
in some silent, absent God
somewhere vaguely up above
and there's Less Love
there's Less Love
Less Love
each day
and all those feelings flooded back into me when i saw her yesterday
i guess i should have kissed her, but
what is life if not a series of small mistakes
small mistakes
small
mistakes
so i poured out my soul all in one session
boiled it down to a twelve bar progression and
tried my darndest to tell the truth
but honesty's tough when you're signing the blues
so guess what
i had Less Love
i had Less Love
i had Less Love
Less Love
with each halfhearted phrase
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11. |
Pedestal Song
03:53
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so many beautiful planes of water have been broken for the Lord
like when Menno Simons drowned everything that made him human in a bathtub before you were born
but somehow there remained all his righteous anger and shame
and it formed a thick shiny film across his eyes
it was the one spectacular failure he couldn't hide
i always thought of you as a celebrity in the peak of her career
i approached you with all the proper reservations, all the hesitation and fear
you flaunted your winsome face all across these contiguous United States
and you smiled and waved on national tv
i let myself believe it was for me
one day i found out that the imaginary statue i had built of you had fallen down
and i cried myself a river in front of everyone in town
it kind of looked like rain with the blue sky conveniently out of frame
and the one true color of the rainbow reared its head
we painted the town everything but red
i never really felt the same again, but i came pretty close one time
in a luxury suite in Luxembourg with the cover of July
she covered her beautiful chest with the top half of a little black satin dress
and she painted perfect little pieces of her face Blue
i swear to God, it almost looked like you
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12. |
Reassess in January
05:06
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i can't leave my apartment til next weekend
i'm not even supposed to go outside
dressed head to toe in PPE, the doctor gave the news to me
it's nobody's fault but mine
now i'm looking through my plans for this December
now i'm staring straight on through the ground
seems to me whatever we've been doing here
is doomed to fizzle out
now i don't want to get anybody sick
but i'd really love to see you again
so we can Reassess in January
if we're both still lonely by then
we always had amazing conversations
i hope we have a thousand more
but every time the words give way to silence
well it shakes me to the core
so i'll keep the line hot through my isolation
and i'll text you here and there through quarantine
2021 might bring the ship in
we'll just have to wait and see
now i know the line about absence and the heart
but it never seems to work that way
so we can Reassess in January
if there's anything left to say
now all my fears are realized
like prayers i wished that God would just swat away
there's no Gatsbyesque redemption arc that i can string together
to redo yesterday
but i probably could convince another woman
to meet me on a heated patio
talk about our childhoods and our futures
and other things we can't let go
and between sips of an eighteen dollar cocktail
i'll think about what almost was
and i hope that won't derail the conversation
but then again, part of me hopes it does
and i know it's probably best to write you off
but i still would love to see you again
so we can open up that wound this summer
if we're both still lonely by then
if we're both still lonely by then
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13. |
Escape
04:11
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yes i know you've got a passport
i know you've got far flung family
i'm sure you've got a lot to do once you get there
i'm sure it's got nothing to do with me
yes i know you took some time off
yes i know we just recently met
but i know just how much a month can kill a moment
i'm sure you'll probably forget
so go, go where you need to
write me postcards if you want
i don't get much mail par avion these days
go, go where you're gonna
learn the language when you land
i hear they've got several ways to say Escape
Escape
yes i know you'll squeeze some time in
before the landing gear comes up
but i don't know how far you and your heart already are
or how good you are at slipping knots
so just go, go where you need to
write me postcards if you want
i don't get much mail par avion these days
go, go where you're gonna
learn the language when you land
i hear they've got several ways to say Escape
Escape
say Escape
you're gonna say Escape
just say Escape
Escape
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14. |
Ecclesiastes 11:9
03:35
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drowning in the desert
nobody will believe me
when they see what i've succumbed to
and hear what i claim to believe
and the days are numbered
but who's really counting
that just means i've gotta be a little quicker on my feet
it's a failed conceit, a quick relief
shaking in my sober hands
oh it's my libidinous jest
it's my spent cigarettes
it's the portrait of a better man
i spend every night
eyes mostly open
entertaining demons in the moonlight
waiting for the sky to fade to black
and it's going fine
i wouldn't say i'm lonely
getting high off the skin of your naked back
but who will be there to comfort me
when everybody else is gone
oh it's my libidinous jest
it's my spent cigarettes
it's all that i could ever want
so when He parts the clouds
just like He parted the water
i'll try to keep my evening open
i'll do my best to make it there on time
but as for now
i'll take a double whiskey
and i'll meet you on the dark side of the line
this easy road
we've come to know
it don't run toward the sky
oh it's my libidinous jest
it's my spent cigarettes
it's more than a sold soul can buy
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15. |
Next Time
04:15
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another vacation with your family
to the city of love
it's everything you've always wanted
it's never quite enough
you can sleep the whole flight or watch rom coms
seven miles up in the air
but Next Time you go to Paris
i hope i'm there
i've been doing Duolingo
in my meager spare time
i've been working on my accent
with strangers online
but if i'm with you i'm pretty sure
we're gonna get around okay
so Next Time you go to Paris
meet me au Champs Elysees
you know escargots and macarons
and overpriced wine and cheese
taste all that much better
with the right company
we'll take pictures by the Tower
in stupid black berets
maybe even jump into that river
the locals will call us in Seine
put a padlock on the Pont Des Artes
like all the lovers that came before
Next Time you go to Paris
i hope i'm yours
so long i can't remember
feeling anything like this
feel the walls falling down
every time that we kiss
the road ahead is long and hard
but the sky above is blue
Next Time i fall in love
i hope it's you
Next Time you go to Paris
Next Time you go to Paris
i hope i'm there
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